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Instant Ben: A Fake FOMC Press Release Generator

Excellent! Click on the link to generate a new release.

Instant Ben: A Fake FOMC Press Release Generator — October 31, 2007

Fake Federal Reserve Release
Release Date: October 31, 2007
For immediate release
The Federal Open Market Committee decided to increase its target for the federal funds rate by 50 basis points to 5 3/4 percent.
The Committee thinks on evenly-numbered days that a miserly stance of monetary policy, coupled with wondrous underlying growth in Tiger Woods game, is providing qualified support to economic activity. However, the precipitous decline of crop-circle incidents has lowered, generally speaking, ethanol prices, increased earnings upgrades, and lowered, generally speaking, equity and debt markets. These developments, along with the neutral stance of monetary policy and ongoing ebbing in wages, should foster moderated economic stability over time.
Although the timing of that decline remains uncertain, the Committee perceives that over the thirty-three seconds the upside and downside risks to the attainment of sustainable growth are not balanced. The Committee believes that, taken together, the balance of risks to achieving its goals is weighted toward ass-kicking growth for the next little while.
Click Fed Chairman Bernanke Ben to create another fake FOMC release!

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